I haven't been feeling so hot lately, so the next few reviews are going to be going very sparse. Case in point: other than DISTRICT 9, I think this might be the best film I saw in all of 2009. It's heartbreaking, exciting, nail-biting, tragic, funny, and ultimately, the most thought-provoking film I saw all year. I find it ironic that in a year when Bigelow makes the best entry into the Golden Globes award season, her ex-husband James Cameron wins best picture with the most sub-par film he's ever made. I don't know what kind of relationship the two share now, but she can't be happy about that one.
That's about it. Lame, I know. Just go out and watch the movie. Seriously, it's really, really good. That's all I got. Except that C.J. misses his buddy Greg.
Final grade: A
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
UP - DIR: The fine folks at Pixar (2009)
above: NOT Ed Asner in UP, but close.Ah, yes, the yearly visually-sumptuous Pixar entry arrived, complete with the failsafe formula of the underdogs winning the day/learning the lesson/getting the girl (or losing the girl and getting the Asian-looking cub scout, in this case) that usually involves some gut-busting laughter hand in hand with tear-jerking pathos. And a talking dog. And a dirigible.
Honestly, I just don't feel that jazzed about this one to write too much about it. I mean, yeah, it's good, it's nice looking, there really are some laugh out loud moments, usually involving Doug the talking dog or a big bird swallowing something and spitting it back up, and some moments that make a grown man whimper (as long as he's in a room by himself with no sports equipment/posters/pages/illustrated nearby), but somehow I just didn't really get invested. When I first saw the trailer for the film, I made the false assumption that the old dude in the film lost his wife when the two were very young, thereby setting up the reasons for his crotch-like nature. Nope. They live a long, healthy life together, and then, yeah, she dies. You know what? My grandfather died twenty-five years before my grandmother. IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!! I just couldn't feel bad for the fact that life got in the way of some promise he made when the two of them were kids and she had Austin Powers-like choppers. And of course, the child in our adventure is a typical Pixar one-parent kid a la the kid in TOY STORY (am I wrong to be sexually attracted to the single mom in TOY STORY? Kill me now) or Nemo in FINDING NEMO. Pixar LOVES divorce and/or death of a spouse! And as soon as the kid mentions a story of sitting on a curb with his dad counting cars, you KNOW how the movie's gonna end. Bleh.
And our villain is...let's face it, lame. Yes, he owns a dirigible. Yes, he has a whole museum of zany shit in said dirigible. Yes, he has an army of talking dogs that can fly bi-planes. But by the time said bi-planes enter the picture ( in the typical beautifully animated edge of your seat climax of a Pixar film ), I'm just apathetic to the whole thing.
The voices are fine. I just finished watching the exemplary JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED t.v. show from Warner Brothers, and whenever I hear Ed Asner, all I hear is him doing the voice of the outrageous Granny Goodness (see above picture - yeah, voiced by Lou freaking Grant = AWESOME!!). Doug the dog comes off the best, but the joke is sort of ruined by the trailer. There's a funny little poop joke (That's right, kids, always shovel the hole BEFORE releasing the Kraken) and I laughed out loud at the "Cone of Shame" (specifically due to my fond memories of my childhood dog Luke wearing that cone after a minor operation), but it just didn't grab me.
I want to set aside a paragraph for the music. As my dear friend the Mysterious Greg O. can attest, in early 2001, I played a game on the PS2 called MEDAL OF HONOR. I was so taken by the music in this game that I ordered the music from the manufacturer (I'm something of a movie soundtrack snob). The music was composed and conducted by a fellow Italian that I'd never heard of: Michael Giacchino. Now, if you know movies or t.v. at all, you know the name, and if not, you know the movies he's scored: T.V.'s ALIAS & LOST; THE INCREDIBLES, MI:3 & the recent STAR TREK reboot (yes - J.J. Abrams does love him, as do I). With this and the STAR TREK scores, I believe he cements himself as THE composer to watch into the next decade. And yes, I was there at the begining. So there.
And so, in closing:
HERE'S WHAT YOU WILL SEE:
-An old dude fight complete with flying dentures.
-2 tear-jerking montages that would make even the Campbell's chunky beefiest of us tremble like a little girl with a skinned knee.
-A dirigible. You simply can't go wrong with a dirigible.
HERE'S WHAT YOU WON'T SEE:
-Boobies. Actually, you don't really see any chicks in this one, not even those shapeless fatty chicks from WALL-E.
-Funny outtakes. Man, I LOVED these when they did them for A BUG'S LIFE and TOY STORY 2. They were great. There was farting in them. And monkeys.
-Ed Asner naked...and thank Christ for that.
Final grade: B
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
It's been a while, so let's return with....NAZIS!!! YAY!!!
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS - DIR: QUENTIN TARANTINO (2009)
Nothing says holiday cheer quite like a slipped disc. So yes, I know that I made a proclamation at the onset here that I would write a review a day. Well, the best laid plans of mooks and men, eh? Anyway, here's the deal: by the end of the year, I will have 365 reviews on this blog. Whether it's done day after day or I write 365 reviews on December 31st, 2010, that's that. So deal with it, silver daddios!
Anyhoo, while laying on the heating pad that is pretty much permanently affixed to my couch, I did get to catch up on many t.v. shows and films that had been building into a facsimile of the leaning tower of Pisa on my bureau (does anyone use the word bureau anymore? I imagine the youth of today refer to it as a "shelf". Whippersnappers!), some of which will be reviewed here (probably on December 31st, 2010). But how could I even think to write about anything else when Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) and his guerilla army of Nazi-killing Jews (there's a switch, huh?) were among the larger than life characters that graced my t.v. while watching Tarantino's long-awaited WWII opus, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.
Now, I had seen it in the theater, and remember ranting and raving last summer to anyone who would listen (meaning my cats, since I have no friends - why else would I be writing this blog? Weep for me), but I tell you, upon viewing it again - twice - I simply can't wait to see it again. I mean, what's not to like? It's easily Tarantino's most visually stunning piece of work, and as always, his use of Ennio Morricone's music sucks you completely into each and every scene it's used in. And the dialogue is easily the most dynamic it's been since PULP FICTION (apologies to David Carradine's AMAZING monologue about Superman in KILL BILL: VOL 2), and, in my humble opinion, some of the best he's ever written.
It's hard to say that any one scene trumps another, but the first 20 minutes of the film, that quietly take place in a small cabin in 1941 German-occupied France, may be the single most beautiful scene Tarantino has ever filmed. He slowly and expertly builds the tension to the point that you feel your freaking blood pressure going up, and by the time the obvious climax of the scene arrives, you're hiding behind your couch like a scared Brit hiding from a Dalek. It reeks of Hitchcock. The scene in the basement bar is also outstanding, and worth mentioning if only for it's mention of the old German folk hero Old Shatterhand and his faithful Apache companion, Winitou (I wonder if Shatterhand and Winitou preceded the Lone Ranger and Tonto? Maybe this book can tell us: http://www.amazon.com/Operation-Shatterhand-Jake-Page/dp/0345397215/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263414930&sr=8-1 (Gott in himmol, the tag line literally reads: "The Indians lost America once. They are not about to lose it again..." How is it the 'Indians' haven't scalped Jake Page yet?)
As for the actors, Tarantino's films have always had something of an ensemble feel to them, and BASTERDS is no different, with one notable exception: if Christoph Waltz doesn't walk out of this year's Academy Awards with the gold bald dude in his hand, I'll eat my own feces. Simple. As. That. His Col. Hans Landa is one of the greatest screen villains OF ALL TIME. PERIOD. It's on the level of Anthony Hopkins Hannibal Lechter performance. Between Waltz's portrayal and Tarantino's dialogue, the character exemplifies on an almost visceral level everything evil about the Nazi's, and it's mesmerizing.
Now I know a lot of people bristled at the alternate history take at the end of the film, and I certainly understand why. (Spoiler!!) As far as our history has taught us (supported by film reels, right? But maybe a look-alike? Hmm...), Hitler wasn't killed in a small movie theater in France in 1944. Personally, I have no problem with this, but I do understand the criticism, if only that it rather jarringly pulls you out of the film as you question the absurdity of it. But once you've seen the film and know the outcome, it actually works quite well within the framework of the story. I mean, let's face it: it's RETURN OF THE JEDI - the Emperor is on the Death Star, so let's blow it up. And do they ever, just after they swiss cheese Hitler all over the place. I mean, they literally RE-LOAD AND CONTINUE TO SHOOT HIM!! Shazam! So ultimately, if I can have footage of Evil Personified getting riddled with a barrage of well-deserved bullets, count me in.
And so, in closing:
HERE'S WHAT YOU WILL SEE:
-Evil Personified getting riddled with a barrage of well-deserved bullets
HERE'S WHAT YOU WON'T SEE:
-Jews getting away with hiding under the floorboards
Final grade: A+
Nothing says holiday cheer quite like a slipped disc. So yes, I know that I made a proclamation at the onset here that I would write a review a day. Well, the best laid plans of mooks and men, eh? Anyway, here's the deal: by the end of the year, I will have 365 reviews on this blog. Whether it's done day after day or I write 365 reviews on December 31st, 2010, that's that. So deal with it, silver daddios!
Anyhoo, while laying on the heating pad that is pretty much permanently affixed to my couch, I did get to catch up on many t.v. shows and films that had been building into a facsimile of the leaning tower of Pisa on my bureau (does anyone use the word bureau anymore? I imagine the youth of today refer to it as a "shelf". Whippersnappers!), some of which will be reviewed here (probably on December 31st, 2010). But how could I even think to write about anything else when Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) and his guerilla army of Nazi-killing Jews (there's a switch, huh?) were among the larger than life characters that graced my t.v. while watching Tarantino's long-awaited WWII opus, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.
Now, I had seen it in the theater, and remember ranting and raving last summer to anyone who would listen (meaning my cats, since I have no friends - why else would I be writing this blog? Weep for me), but I tell you, upon viewing it again - twice - I simply can't wait to see it again. I mean, what's not to like? It's easily Tarantino's most visually stunning piece of work, and as always, his use of Ennio Morricone's music sucks you completely into each and every scene it's used in. And the dialogue is easily the most dynamic it's been since PULP FICTION (apologies to David Carradine's AMAZING monologue about Superman in KILL BILL: VOL 2), and, in my humble opinion, some of the best he's ever written.
It's hard to say that any one scene trumps another, but the first 20 minutes of the film, that quietly take place in a small cabin in 1941 German-occupied France, may be the single most beautiful scene Tarantino has ever filmed. He slowly and expertly builds the tension to the point that you feel your freaking blood pressure going up, and by the time the obvious climax of the scene arrives, you're hiding behind your couch like a scared Brit hiding from a Dalek. It reeks of Hitchcock. The scene in the basement bar is also outstanding, and worth mentioning if only for it's mention of the old German folk hero Old Shatterhand and his faithful Apache companion, Winitou (I wonder if Shatterhand and Winitou preceded the Lone Ranger and Tonto? Maybe this book can tell us: http://www.amazon.com/Operation-Shatterhand-Jake-Page/dp/0345397215/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263414930&sr=8-1 (Gott in himmol, the tag line literally reads: "The Indians lost America once. They are not about to lose it again..." How is it the 'Indians' haven't scalped Jake Page yet?)
As for the actors, Tarantino's films have always had something of an ensemble feel to them, and BASTERDS is no different, with one notable exception: if Christoph Waltz doesn't walk out of this year's Academy Awards with the gold bald dude in his hand, I'll eat my own feces. Simple. As. That. His Col. Hans Landa is one of the greatest screen villains OF ALL TIME. PERIOD. It's on the level of Anthony Hopkins Hannibal Lechter performance. Between Waltz's portrayal and Tarantino's dialogue, the character exemplifies on an almost visceral level everything evil about the Nazi's, and it's mesmerizing.
Now I know a lot of people bristled at the alternate history take at the end of the film, and I certainly understand why. (Spoiler!!) As far as our history has taught us (supported by film reels, right? But maybe a look-alike? Hmm...), Hitler wasn't killed in a small movie theater in France in 1944. Personally, I have no problem with this, but I do understand the criticism, if only that it rather jarringly pulls you out of the film as you question the absurdity of it. But once you've seen the film and know the outcome, it actually works quite well within the framework of the story. I mean, let's face it: it's RETURN OF THE JEDI - the Emperor is on the Death Star, so let's blow it up. And do they ever, just after they swiss cheese Hitler all over the place. I mean, they literally RE-LOAD AND CONTINUE TO SHOOT HIM!! Shazam! So ultimately, if I can have footage of Evil Personified getting riddled with a barrage of well-deserved bullets, count me in.
And so, in closing:
HERE'S WHAT YOU WILL SEE:
-Evil Personified getting riddled with a barrage of well-deserved bullets
HERE'S WHAT YOU WON'T SEE:
-Jews getting away with hiding under the floorboards
Final grade: A+
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Ok, so maybe some growing pains here...
Yes, my schedule has made this very tough. As we all know, with any knew operating system, it takes a little bit to iron out the kinks. I WILL be posting a review tomorrow, probably 2, and the cutting room floor 1.0 will give way to the much leaner and meaner 2.0 version once the next few weeks rolls by. So, I will try to maintain the review a day mantra, but if I don't, well, I'm not exactly getting paid for this, and the stuff I am getting paid for has to come first, unfortunately.
Good-night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Good-night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
This blog is evolving like ENCINO MAN.
OK, I'd like to add a new feature to the blog. Inspired by the addictive buying machine that is Amazon.com, I'm going to now feature a small "if you liked this movie than try this" type of addendum. For example, after the review proper, you'd see something like this:
IF YOU LIKED "INDEPENDENCE DAY", THEN YOU WOULD PROBABLY LIKE:
-Shoving a razor blade between your toes.
-Cannon-ball into a pool filled with thumb tacks.
-Stick your nostrils together with crazy glue.
-Eat your own corn-ridden fecal matter.
Nuff said? Righto, Guv-nuh!
And so, if you liked "PUBLIC ENEMIES", then you would probably like:
ROAD TO PERDITION (2002) DIR: SAM MENDES
THE UNTOUCHABLES (1987) DIR: BRIAN DE PALMA (make sure you pull a gun if he pulls a knife with this one)
BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967) DIR: ARTHUR PENN
IF YOU LIKED "INDEPENDENCE DAY", THEN YOU WOULD PROBABLY LIKE:
-Shoving a razor blade between your toes.
-Cannon-ball into a pool filled with thumb tacks.
-Stick your nostrils together with crazy glue.
-Eat your own corn-ridden fecal matter.
Nuff said? Righto, Guv-nuh!
And so, if you liked "PUBLIC ENEMIES", then you would probably like:
ROAD TO PERDITION (2002) DIR: SAM MENDES
THE UNTOUCHABLES (1987) DIR: BRIAN DE PALMA (make sure you pull a gun if he pulls a knife with this one)
BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967) DIR: ARTHUR PENN
PUBLIC ENEMIES (2009) - DIR: MICHAEL MANN
So while laying upon my heating pad over the weekend after completely blowing out my back, the decision for a "chill out" type of film came down to three things: the brilliant Marlon Brando film ONE EYED JACKS, the vastly-underrated Warner Brothers JUSTICE LEAGUE cartoon, which I'd match up against any live action show on prime-time t.v. easily, and Michael Mann's biopic on the gangster with the giant penis John Dillinger, PUBLIC ENEMIES. I chose the latter film for one reason and one reason only: I fucking LOVE tommy guns!!
It's easy to see the allure of the gangster era in our country, and Mann certainly illustrates the attraction of that life. When love-of-his-life Billie (Marion Cotillard) asks Dillinger what he wants to do, he responds "Anything I want". Obviously a romantic notion, a notion that is only quantified by the casting of Johnny Depp as Dillinger. Easily one of the most unique and engaging actors of his generation, Depp not only casts his spell on the audience but, as Dillinger, casts a spell on the media, fellow cons and crooks, and even the police and feds in charge of tracking him down. Of course, Mann doesn't hold back on the consequences of following this life, and pretty much everyone in the film on the "wrong" side of the law ends up bloody and broken...and dead!
The cinematography and production need a special mention. The film easily transports the viewer to a time when being a bank robber really was a lucrative career, and the shots of sprawling Chicago banks and dark moodily-lit Indiana air-fields only adds to the atmosphere. It's a shame the film doesn't completely pull you in, but that's through no fault of the look of the film. We never really get behind Dillinger's motivations, and it leaves you with the image in your mind of a postcard from another place with nothing written on the other side. Still, tommy guns!! And so, in closing:
HERE'S WHAT YOU WILL SEE:
-TOMMY GUNS!!!!
HERE'S WHAT YOU WON'T SEE:
-that piece of oak Channing Tatum in more than a 2 minute roll as Pretty Boy Floyd! Yay for Christian Bale blowing him away in the opening minutes!!!
Final Grade: B+
It's easy to see the allure of the gangster era in our country, and Mann certainly illustrates the attraction of that life. When love-of-his-life Billie (Marion Cotillard) asks Dillinger what he wants to do, he responds "Anything I want". Obviously a romantic notion, a notion that is only quantified by the casting of Johnny Depp as Dillinger. Easily one of the most unique and engaging actors of his generation, Depp not only casts his spell on the audience but, as Dillinger, casts a spell on the media, fellow cons and crooks, and even the police and feds in charge of tracking him down. Of course, Mann doesn't hold back on the consequences of following this life, and pretty much everyone in the film on the "wrong" side of the law ends up bloody and broken...and dead!
The cinematography and production need a special mention. The film easily transports the viewer to a time when being a bank robber really was a lucrative career, and the shots of sprawling Chicago banks and dark moodily-lit Indiana air-fields only adds to the atmosphere. It's a shame the film doesn't completely pull you in, but that's through no fault of the look of the film. We never really get behind Dillinger's motivations, and it leaves you with the image in your mind of a postcard from another place with nothing written on the other side. Still, tommy guns!! And so, in closing:
HERE'S WHAT YOU WILL SEE:
-TOMMY GUNS!!!!
HERE'S WHAT YOU WON'T SEE:
-that piece of oak Channing Tatum in more than a 2 minute roll as Pretty Boy Floyd! Yay for Christian Bale blowing him away in the opening minutes!!!
Final Grade: B+
Monday, January 4, 2010
Ok, maybe I bit off more than I can chew...
Yes, it's true, no review. Honestly, the only way I could have written one is if I had gotten up at 4 a.m., and, sorry, no way. I have 3 scenes to memorize for a role I have in MACBETH for the Syracuse Shakespeare Fest, and I have to have them done by tomorrow night. So that, coupled with a full day at work and just getting home...well, what can I say, I suck out of the gate.
However...
I will now add one more rule:
If I fail to do a review one day, I have within 7 days to write an extra one.
That's right, I'm making these rules up as I go along. Kiss my hairy Italian butt if you don't like it. And just think, this week you're gonna get 2 reviews IN ONE DAY! Holy horseballs, what a deal!!
Goodnight.
However...
I will now add one more rule:
If I fail to do a review one day, I have within 7 days to write an extra one.
That's right, I'm making these rules up as I go along. Kiss my hairy Italian butt if you don't like it. And just think, this week you're gonna get 2 reviews IN ONE DAY! Holy horseballs, what a deal!!
Goodnight.
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